|Yep that's me|
I have often felt as though I am blowing with the wind. I once did a small group on The Purpose Driven Life where I had hoped to find my purpose. (If I had found it I wouldn't still be looking would I?) This time around I am finally starting to see God's plan for me. Not only has God been allowing me to hear His plan through multiple voices, He is showing me how I've been using those gifts all along.
We are all made different so what is right for me, doesn't need to be right for you. Whether you were made to be a tiny artists brush, an angle trim brush, a roller, a paint sprayer, or anything in between you will struggle to do the tasks better suited for a different tool. That doesn't make any of us incompetent, just different and that's OK.
My primary gift is leadership. That was actually hard for me to determine. You see I don't have any desire to lead enormous groups, or to accomplish huge things, I don't need to take charge of every situation, I'm happy to let someone else take the lead, as long as they are leading correctly. However, if no one will step up, or I witness chaos, I must step in. As God was revealing this to me, I was reminded how often I've been put in positions of leadership. In grammar school I attended my first ever 4H meeting, I was elected Vice-President that day and I automatically became President the following year. It has happened many times since then. Leadership can be a wow that's awesome gift, but true leadership is not about the wow, it is a huge responsibility. That's why good leaders are happy to delegate authority, and recognize the efforts of others. They realize the weight that is lifted by those efforts. I still don't desire to be the big guy in charge, but I am happy to know that I've been called to help out where I can.
My secondary gift is in administration. I've shared a bit about my OCD to you. It comes from this gift. You see I like things to be organized and efficient. Have any of you received a Christmas Card from me? If so, you may have noticed that I started using Mailmerge to print addresses on envelopes in 2001. Instead of an address book, I have used an Excel Spreadsheet for years. My Tupperware is stored with lids on so that I don't have to search for them. My Vet can call me looking for an item and I can tell him which corner of the drawer the item is. Things have a spot, and when they don't and my house is a mess, so is my mind.
Finding my gifts has been great, but that still didn't give me a grand purpose or passion. For that I decided to fast and pray. I'm grateful that it only took a day, and the message came in loud and clear I'm a wife and mom. That's it, I don't need to be jealous of my friends who are called to be that and an engineer/ teacher/ nurse/ salesman/ doctor/ chef/ author/ congresswoman/ farmer/ coach. That will probably change as my children grow, but for right now I get to enjoy raising my kids. God also told me that even without the exciting careers my friends have, I bring something to the table. I have experiences and expertise that is important too.
So I am going to continue using my gifts to take care of my family and my home to the best of my ability. I also get to work alongside the talented women I get to call friends, without satan telling me I am inferior to them.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11